Blogging for the joy!

In all things

2011-04-14T20:10:00.001-07:00

Thats a picture of my mom's new bundle of joy, Obi Won

We're a "Boston" family.

We've owned 3 Bostons.

And we've owned 3 Boston Terriers that are named after Star Wars characters.

On to my post.

I'm at home sick today. And I had to miss out on an ever-so-coveted social outing.

I was thinking of how bored and purposeless and lifeless I feel.

And I was also thinking that I feel like I"ve been kicked while I"m down. Twice now.

We are now right smack dab in the middle of April.

In January, my fiancee and I had to call off our wedding because of medical issues. We were advised, and he lovingly chose for me not to endure his torment with him.

We are not getting married.

Our wedding day came and went.

To state the obvious, it was devastating for both of us.

In grieving that, and living on my own for the first time, April arrives and brings with it a severe sinus infection that includes MY EARS. So you get nausea, fever, chills, the desire to throw up yet the painful stubborness of your own organs.

AND, I have been DEAD tired. 15 hours of sleep a day. Falling asleep while sitting in a chair talking to people in the middle of the day.

I go to the doctor and I have HYPO-thyroid. symptoms: extreme exhaustion, depression (because you're so stinkin' tired, DUH!), weight gain ( 0f which I have avoided, probably because of stress), and last symptom is intolerance to cold. I was seriously starting to wonder why I was the only person wearing a down jacket and wool ski socks everywhere.

BUT. Thats a weighty word.

BUT!

The Lord has shown me how to let go of my rights to all of these things.

I do not have the right to get married. I had to let go of sickness, of wedding days, my pride of being married, my new sweet family, living with the sweetest man.

I had to just let it go. I'm still letting it go.

I had to accept that my life continues without those things. They did not make or break me.

Chuck Noland said it best:

We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?

And being tired. I have to let it go. I'm not a victim to it. It doesn't own me. I'm still me with it.

And so we get excited about the little things.

So, I think some guy named Pauly from N00 Y0ck, or was it Paul T. Apostle? that said, "¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Phil 4:12-13

Are you REALLY content in all things?

Are you REALLY ok if you were knocked upside your head and laying in a hospitol and you had lost friends or family?

Comment and tell me!

I was not content when I had everything. I wanted more. I wanted a life I didn't have.

And now that I've lost almost everything that feels valuable to a 27-year-old I'm happier than ever.

Middle of Nowhere, Zimbabwe

2010-05-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

One of my very precious students was writing a paper exactly one year ago. It was a piece on where you go and hang out and what you do. He chose to write his about a very large local grocery store. In this particular essay, the chosen venue was mentioned several times and spelled, " h-a-b." When asked to read this aloud, he replied in a very heavy Georgian accent, ache-A-Bay.
Awesome. What else can you say?

So where were we? Oh yes... in a classic pink Cadillac Seville on our way to Ohio.

So I was asking some questions, but lets back this train up, and start with the beginning of the school year. For some very strange reason, I started praying this very silly prayer: Lord, give me benign opportunities to wait on you.

Disclaimer: Prayer is a wonderful thing. You should try it. And asking God for things he is prompting you to ask for is also a great thing. But asking for things to wait for, and for him to give you patience is just plain dumb. Really dumb.

So of course the Lord provides. Duh!

At first I was like, ok, this is not a big deal. But then, HOLD the PHONE! it got ROUGH. I was NOT content with my job, my housing situation, my stage of life. All of sudden the flying carpet was yanked out from under me.

P.S. I was no longer praying for opportunities. I was too busy getting my bearings.

And because that wasn't disconcerting enough, nothing satisfied. I felt like I was Dumbo-dropped in the middle of Zimbabwe. I didn't know how to deal with my new situation. I wanted to cling to something familiar. And there was nothing. And in case you didn't know, they DO NOT speak English in Zimbabwe. It was awful.

And I tried and tried to find something, anything to cling to and remind me of Los Estados Unidos, and nothing helped. So after I wore myself out, I finally started running towards the Lord and reading the Word.

And thats when the questions started coming, "What has value?"
And , " what WILL satisfy?"

And I did not get answers for a while. I kept reading and memorizing. I even thought about moving away to Dallas. I know, random. But hey, I had to try something in my own power.

And graciously, the Lord wouldn't let me....

And of course, in the midst of all of this my job got 8-and-a-half-times harder. I was super-busy running to 4 schools a day.

But, by the Lord's grace, I blindly jumped feet first off the giant cliff of intellectual suicide. Giving up everything I knew, and trusting that getting less sleep, and actually obeying the Lord would eventually pay off in some way.

And of course, eventually it did. Not in the way I was hoping, but of course, so much better.

And I'll tell you more about that next time...Currently my roommates are jump-roping with invisible jump ropes to a Jillian Micael's Shred Video. Its hilarious.

1980s seagull hair and What Really Matters

2010-05-25T19:14:00.000-07:00

One of my roommates, in this case, Jessica, texted me today asking how she should cut her hair.

Words were not needed, clearly she had only one choice: the seagull up-do from the 80s. Sad to say, she did not agree, and instead got a super cute bob.

In other news, I am starting to understand the purpose of this blog. All year I have been "praying" about what to do for the 2010/2011 school year. Around these parts life revolves around the school year. Everything is seasonal. When you go to Starbucks is dependent upon the University system. How long it takes you to travel from point A to point B depends entirely upon school being in session or not. I prefer their summer and winter vacations when the town belongs entirely to "old" people.

I digress.

My job, and thus elementary school, is rapidly coming to a close, and for this I am extremely thankful. All year I have been asking the Lord where I am supposed to go. Surely, God has some super special job he wants me to do for Him? Right??
And I have been straining and petitioning and searching for this elusive purpose all year.
And ONLY because God is gracious, He did not give me an answer like "Cincinnati, Ohio."
No, because that would have been very convenient. Thats what I was looking for.

Quit your job, leave your church, and go an a grand theological adventure involving Chacos and Cincinatti, Ohio.

No such luck.

Instead he took me on a journey with MANY bumps and curves to discover that the praying in and of itself was the purpose. Rather, getting to know the Lord and learning to communicate and articulate was the point.
And if praying is the journey, mine is a beat-up 1956 Cadillac. It seems that most people arrive in sleek limo. Not me.

Anyways, back to the point. Some of the questions I have been asking and facing are:

What REALLY matters?

What is my purpose?

What IS the desire of my heart?

And these questions evolved over the year. So next time (which might be tomorrow) I'm going to share with you how I reached a bunch of dead ends, and got caught up in some seemingly pointless cul-de-sacs. And I still haven't heard about which "city" I'm supposed to go to, and I would LOVE to stop at the nearest gas station and buy some Twizzlers Pull-and-Peels, but the journey is endless.

Until next time.....

Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary

2010-03-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Feliz Cumpleanos a ti!
An ode to my Compaq Presario F700

Two very long years ago I purchased you at the Fredericksburg, Texas Wal-mart Superstore. I had thought about you. I had budgeted, and there you were in your $500 glory.

You were not a mac.

You actually weren't all that special.

But you were cheap, and you did email.

You have served me well these past two years. You still email, you still even get on the internet.

You no longer burn cds, but I forgive you.

So cheers to you!! And here is to at least 6 more months of surfing and writing :)

Secondly, and really more importantly its my anniversary!!

March somethingth 2006 I accepted Jesus as my Savior, was baptized, and could not wait another minute to join the church.

Ephesians 5:22-32 says:Wives and Husbands
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

If Christ has done what the Bible says he did, and he has taken our punishment on our behalf, and has cleansed us OUT OF his great love for us, than I cannot think of a more appropriate response than to make a commitment to what Jesus says he died for: a local body of believers.

4 years ago it was the greatest JOY and desire of my heart to get to know, participate in, learn from, and grow with Living Hope Baptist Church.
I have since moved with our expansion Living Hope Bryan... but the purpose is the same.

So Happy Anniversary to me. This is truly a great reminder!

Disclaimer

2010-01-29T10:22:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what you guys think of me, or of what I write. But I'm very convicted.

About my life.

About what I get excited about.

About how I spend my time.

About my goals.

I have been redeemed (purchased by blood from eternal death and shame) by the Most High God, and yet I often live for myself and my desires.

While my heart is not to censor the displeasing things in my life, I also do not want to promote and exalt things that have no explanation behind them.

Thus, I erased the post about Josh and I spending New Years at Barney and Jos. Butch said it was super shady that we went there at night. I had no idea. That NEVER occurred to me. But, in case you didn't know, we look exactly like the world when we have the appearance of sin, even if our motives and our hearts are good. So for that, I'm sorry.

True treasure is not found here. Its found above.

Joy.

The sweet peace of knowing you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be.

The freedom of knowing you have NOTHING left to lose. Free from entanglements.

The sweetness of opening your hands and truly being ok with whatever happens.

Loving people.

Loving sick people.

Loving people who can't love you back.

Being loved.

These are treasures that cannot be purchased at ANY Target.

So, today I'm excited about the FREE piano the Lord provided (dropped in my room) so that I can do what he called me to do: play keyboard for the worship team.

Today I'm excited that one of my students AND his mom, AND his brother are coming to church this Saturday.

And finally, today I"m excited because two of my students have been reading their bibles.

The Bread Pudding Project take 1

2009-10-31T12:48:00.001-07:00

I have a dream...

a very sweet dream...

of creating and perfecting a dessert that is delicately rich, moist, and savory.

For my palate, only bread pudding will do.

This is my attempt to recreate and invent bread pudding recipes.

Join me as I buy, botch, and bake a very temperamental desert.

Quick side note: 2nd Annual Hall-o-ween Birthday Fiesta was Fabulous!! I will post pictures as soon as I can!

From the kitchen of Cindy Wadsworth (Anna Wadsworth's mom):

Bread Pudding

6 eggs 1 1/2 c. stale bread crumbs
2 c. sugar 1/2 cup seedless raisins
2 tsp salt 1 T. all purpose flour
1 qt. milk 1/2 t. ground nutmeg
1 tsp. vanilla extract 2 T. butter

My changes:

I halved it. I used a mixture of brown and white sugar. Half of the milk was half &half. I added immitation rum extract. No raisins, instead I added frozen peaches. I layered French Bread, then peaches, then more french bread.

Results: Much too moist. Immitation rum + nutmeg= fake eggnog flavor (GROSS!). If you add fruit, add it at room temperature. Looked perfect out of the oven. The layering turned out nicely.

High Quality ingredients (upgrades):
Eggs- Miller's free-range organic eggs
Sugar- Central Market Light Brown Sugar
Butter- CM European Style, unsalted
Flour- CM Baker's Flour

What I will do next time: Use real rum, or a different flavor. I will again use the French Bread, it was perfect. Also, I will add less milk, and probably more cream. I might chop up the fruit and put a thinner layer within the bread.

Flavor Goals: Bananas Foster, Chocolate, Blackberry, Apple Cinammon, Peaches

Please let me know if you have any great recipes, tips or ideas to share! I want to haer them!!

Sick

2009-09-13T14:39:00.000-07:00

Sickness brought to you by Bekah's immune system.

Poem brought to you by Shel Silverstein.

And images brought to you by George Lucas and Walt Disney.

I'm sitting in bed sneezing my brains out and watching movies. Yesterday I went to Aerofit on Villa Maria to swim. It was the first time for me to go there instead of the Bryan Aquatic Center because it was raining, I had to find an indoor swimming pool. And when I arrived I felt like I was in an Thriller/Alias sort of movie... where I was the spy and I got to go to all the coolest country clubs, underground hotspots, you know what I"m talking about. Walk down the steps and you arrive at the pool that is surrounded by glass windows. And I was the only person besides this really old man doing laps. I had a key for my locker and I was thinking that if the pool were super busy, I could sneak something into my locker like the plans for the Death Star.
Something good and secret you know.

And then when I was swimming laps I could hide the key in my hand and "accidentally" drop it in the lane beside me while I was swimming. And then the person in the lane next to me could pick up the key in the water, get out and go get the secret plans.
And no one would ever know!
And then we would foil the evil Emperor Palpatine!

Instead I just swam laps.
And it was the best swim ever.
I had so much endurance.
I"m learning how to keep a steady pace, breathe evenly and pace myself. And so I don't max out and run out of energy quickly.
I glide.
And I'm gradually getting faster.
Its incredibly peaceful.
Of course I'm imagining what I would do if I worked for the CIA, but in spite of that I still glide through the water. And somehow I did 16 laps at 50 yards? each. And then time caught up. I had promised Kelly I would watch a movie with her at 2pm. Alas, it was time to go. But I could have swam 10 more laps easily.

So I left the eerie square complex of glass and headed home. Kelly, Cassie-the-Payne, and I watched the old Parent Trap.
Don't pay me any mind. I just keep my nose out of it. I don't say a word, not a single word.

As we sat on the couch my body started yelling at me. At first it was soft and then it became much louder to where I couldn't ignore it. And it was not yelling at me because of swimming.
But I marched on, in hopes to get ready and dressed for church at 6 and prayer at 5.
My body screamed in protest.
It was very adamant.
All of it.
Finally, I succumbed to its cries and admitted defeat.
I was sick.
Blast!
I NEVER get "sick".
I'm always the last surviving partier who spectates while everyone suffers in the trenches of this season's illness.

Not this time. This year I'm a trend-starter. I'm the winner of the F.L.U gameshow.
And yes, my body hates me with a flaming passion, and my temperature reflects that every 3 hours. But for being so useless, and missing so many anticipated events, I have a strange peace.
There is peace in knowing I have no control.
I will have to miss work tomorrow and I HATE that. But there is NOTHING I can do.
I do not have the power to will my body to speed up its germ killing process.
And so I have the freedom to sit and wait.
And I'm loving that!
Its my job to sit here and watch movies and nap.
Sure this isn't my first choice of a Sunday afternoon.
I would rather hang out and laugh and be with people, and get chores done.
But that would be in vain.
I might get even more sick and do everyone even less of favors.

So to satiate your need for a drama... I give you a poem by Shel Silverstein...

"I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!"

Preteen camp by the numbers

2009-07-20T11:10:00.001-07:00

Number of kids who attended from living hope: 33
Number of adults from Living hope going as sponsors: 12
Number of churches represented: 3
Number of pranks played throughout the week: 329
Average Hours of sleep each night for counselors: 4.5
Average Hours of sleep for kids: 7.5
Number of cafteria trays used by one person: 11
Number of people who jumped onto the blob: 25
Number of people blobbed: 20

Number of times we played dodgeball: 3
types of dodgeball played: 8
number of times people from LH got hit in the face: 42

Price of candy bar at the gift shop: $1.50
Amount of Candy Bars purchased by Living Hope: 207
Average number of wrappers in a single dorm room: 8

Boys before...

And boys after:

Average temperature throughout the week: 102
Average humidity: 80%
Average amount of showers taken by the kids: 2
Average number of showers taken by adults: 5

Youngest age of person doing ropes course: 3 years old (Jericho Tipton)

Amount of kids from the whole camp who got saved: 44
Kids from living hope who got saved :2

Amount of farts by living hope counselors throught the week: 743
Amount of fart jokes told by Howard about said counselors: 46

Amount of times Davondria twisted her ankle: 1

Number of people that can fit in a Ford Expedition: 15

Adventure of the week: Preteen camp

2009-07-13T09:54:00.000-07:00

Barney calls it prison camp.

And Chelsi calls it pro-tein camp.

But alas, it will be me, 12 other insane counselors, and 33 or so half-humans between the ages of 9 and 12.
I love them a lot, but I call them half humans because that is just what they are. Have you ever stepped foot in a middle school?!?

I won't tell you exactly where we are going, but I will tell you this:
Its south of College Station and near Huntsville AND its close to a body of water.
So as hot and humid as it is here, I imagine that we will daily bathe in the non-deodorized sweat of 11 year olds. I'm pumped... and cringing.

Ingredients:
13 counselors + 32 humanoid life forms + sweat = FuN!

So please pray for us.

Pray that the kids would taste the Lord if they haven't already and have eyes to see and ears to hear of the great things he has done on their behalf.

Pray that we would be counselors who consider it a priviledge to work with these kids. It is a joy and I pray that we would act as such!

Pray over 1 John chapters 3-5. We have been loved greatly, and out of our thankfulness we are called to love our brothers and sisters and give our lives for them. This week is about the Lord and the kids: not us!

Pray dicipleship would happen: that we would teach these kids how to love the Lord day in and out: reading the Word, prayer, fellowship, confession, praise, worship, etc.

And pray that because of this week, and in addition to everything else the Lord is doing that these kids would grow up to be MIGHTY warriors for the Lord taking His name boldly to the ends of the Earth.

And finally pray that ALL of this would come from the Lord, that he would be our words, he would be our rest, our patience, our joy, etc. Apart from me you can do nothing. Its true.

For a Limited time only....

2009-07-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

Small Businesses!

Yes, they still exist!

Personal customer service.

Local, farm-fresh produce!

They eliminate the middle man so your food is cheaper!

Yesterday in my gracious gift of time because of teaching, I found two little Bryan, Texas treasures that I had been meaning to visit. The first is a Farmer's Market that sells locally-grown fruits and vegetables. The second is a Norman Rockwell hardware store in downtown.

I was standing at a bin with a puzzled look on my face and a very attentive employee walks up and asks if he can help me with anything.
I say, "Is a yam the same thing as a sweet potato?"
"No, but actually I can show you EXACTLY why its not."
Me: "Ok."
Employee walks me over to a laminated book and flips some pages to where there is a chart noting ALL the differences betweens yams and sweet potatoes.
"more than you ever wanted to know, huh"
"yeah, thanks!"

A yam is a tuber, but a sweet potato is a starch. One of them has 20n diploid somethings. Apparently that is yam Mendelian genetics. So you can't cross them? I'm not sure.
I was just looking for something to make sweet potato fries with, and if yams are dry tubers, then that is NOT what I want.

They have really adorable mini shopping carts. The same adorable carts are very difficult to maneuver throught the isles. But not a lot of people know about this secret little gem, so its not a huge problem.

Finally, you almost get swept away in its charm. I felt like I was in an underground European market. The brick walls and outdoor feel, yet with air conditioning is quite different from your normal Superstores.

For more information visit this website:

http://www.lifeinthebrazos.com/articles/farm_patch_report

Parker-Astin Hardware store:

My goal is to create something like this:

The goal is to attractively display jewelry in such a way that it is also easy to see everything you own, and organize. So, you take an empty frame and turn it over. Then you staple gun? mesh wire to the inside lip. I'm probably going to add a picture or two. I'm secretly making one for my roommate and I would also like to make one for myself, if I figure it out.

In my quest for "mesh wire" which I actually begun refering to as "tiny chicken wire." No one understood. So after a trip to Home Depot, Lowe's, Wal-Mart, Hobby Lobby and JoAnne's, and after many employee giggles, I discovered that its called wire mesh, and NO ONE carries it. Come on! who doesn't want a jewelry holder?!?

Because my mother is in the know, even though she doesn't live here, I think its because older people are just more wise, she KNEW where I could find some.

So, finally, I broke down and drove to the Astin-Parker. Its adorable. I've been here before, they have a kitchen section, and a hardware section. Ok, I love Home Depot and Lowe's just as much as the next person, but half the stuff they have is USELESS! Not at Astin-Parker. I always want to buy everything that I see. Dangerous. But, they have twine, and those gift wrap sets that include the matching bag, tissue paper, and bow for one price. And they have hard to find kitchen items and good knives. These people KNOW. I don't know how, but there must be some very wise old lady, that secretly knows exactly what a person would need in their house, and what is just junk. All of that to say: they do not sell junk.
But they sell mesh wire!!! And plumbing supplies, and good shovels, and snicker's bars.

Again a very helpful attentive employee helped me find what I was looking for and cut how much I needed! I didn't have to buy 50 feet of the stuff! Amazing! What would I do with all of that wire? And since I didn't have to buy a lot of extra it was super cheap!

But I want you people to keep them in Business. They need loyal customers. You need good produce and perhaps a good shovel or two.

Please visit!!

Modest conversations

2009-04-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Speaking of 1 Peter 3 ....

If you get through the whole thing, comment and tell me what you think!

We are in a 1 Peter sermon series at my church, Living Hope Bryan:

I found this great article through Carolyn's McCulley's website

.

The Single Woman and the Modesty of Personal Restraint
by Lydia Brownback

As the spring season blooms, talk about modesty heats up in Christian conversation as fast as the weather. Bloggers, radio hosts, and the rest of us lament the shorter hemlines, deeper necklines, exposed bellies, and bare bottoms in thong bikinis at the neighborhood swim club. But immodesty deals with a lot more than revealing too much skin. We are just as prone—if not more so—to overexpose what’s under our skin. Revealing too much about ourselves is immodest too. When Peter painted his picture of godly womanhood, it included outward modesty—how we handle “the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing”—but it also included the modesty of personal restraint—“a gentle and quiet spirit,” which, he said, is very precious in God’s sight (1 Pet. 3:4).
I wish Carrie had known the wisdom of Peter’s words. Fresh out of college and starting her first “real” job, she came to work each day eager to be part of the team. But after just two months of work, Carrie experienced a personal crisis, and it began to affect her performance. Carrie was never at her desk. Instead, she spent the better part of the workday pouring out her struggles to her colleagues behind closed office doors. Finally, a female colleague was asked to talk to Carrie and to put a stop to it. But Carrie didn’t understand. What was wrong with being open and honest? Were office friendships forbidden? “It’s not appropriate, especially with the men,” she was told. “After all, how would their wives feel if they knew you were pouring your heart out to their husbands?” Carrie had no boundaries because she lacked a “gentle and quiet spirit,” the modesty of personal restraint that Peter taught. Happily, Carrie learned through the experience and went on to cultivate a godly self-restraint.
There is a time and place to open up and share our sin struggles and personal concerns, and if we are careful to apply Peter’s words about the modesty of personal restraint, we will be wise not only about the time and the place, but also about the people we choose to share our hearts with. The book of Proverbs warns us, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” (4:23). Along with this there’s general biblical call on all of us to love one another, which means that we are called to guard the hearts of others, too. We might be tempted to think that this verse is guiding us toward self-protection, but it is not. What we are called to guard is our heart—our passion—for God, and we do this primarily by holding at bay anything that would compete with that passion in ourselves or in those around us.
Sharing confidences and personal experiences with someone forms a bond. There is always an element of vulnerability when we choose to trust another with our confidences and with not rejecting us when our weaknesses are exposed. If we share a little bit with someone and all goes well, it seems safe to share more, and before we know it, a bond has formed. This can be a great blessing, but when we allow it to happen in the wrong context, it is unwise, and great hurt can result.
Single women are free to enjoy the company of single men, but there is a way to go about it that reflects Peter’s idea of modesty and keeps hearts guarded. Time spent in groups is always wise because group conversations tend to be less personal. The group dynamic provides a safety net for the heart. On the other hand, private conversations and e-mail chats lead naturally to bond-forming, and if you overexpose your soul in a relationship where there has been no stated commitment, you are risking the hearts of both involved.
Single women are not free to enjoy the company of married men—other women’s husbands–in the same way they are with single men. This includes pastors. Pastors are our God-given shepherds, certainly, but many if not most are also husbands. We are free to take our concerns to them, but there is a way to open up that shows appropriate personal restraint.. It’s one thing to seek our pastor’s counsel, perhaps repeatedly. But there is a difference between a genuine need for his wisdom and our desire for his attention and involvement in our lives. Countless phone calls and endless e-mails are probably going too far. This is the point at which most pastors will wisely redirect us elsewhere.
Inward and outward modesty is also a must in the workplace, as we saw with Carrie. Many women today are likely to spend some portion of their lives out in the job market. This means that men in the workforce spend more waking hours with their business colleagues—a significant number of which are women—than with their wives. Those of us in the workplace ought to consider that one of the primary motivations for modesty is safeguarding the marriages of our colleagues. A low-cut blouse isn’t necessarily going to lead to an extra-marital affair; however, when we recall Jesus’ words about what constitutes adultery—“everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28)—we see the need to be extra careful about what we wear in the office.
Modesty of speech is also crucial in the workplace. Office banter can be a slippery slope. Working together is also a bonding experience, and, naturally, friendships arise. But because this is so, it is all the more reason to restrain what we share about ourselves with our coworkers. “Wait a minute,” we say, like Carrie did. “We’re just friends! There’s nothing wrong with that.” Oh, but there is. Sharing verbal intimacies with a man is the exclusive right of his wife. It takes something away from her when we focus her husband’s attention onto ourselves, however harmless our intent. The best of marriages takes work, and because of that there are certainly seasons in which a man can be especially tempted by an illicit attraction. The new and different is exciting to almost everyone, so even the most innocuous revelations about ourselves can prove distracting.
Of course, there exists the very real possibility that friendship with a man—a single guy or another woman’s husband—however innocent at first, will morph into something more. But if there is no commitment to accompany the attachment that has developed, or the attachment violates a commitment made to someone else, heart destruction is sure to follow. Believing that this can’t happen makes the possibility of it happening even greater. “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall,” Paul warns (1 Cor. 10:12). We’re not above it. None of us is. No one intentionally seeks out a destructive relationship, but they happen all the time. And they typically develop one conversation, one shared laugh, one lunch meeting at a time.
Are you as modest with your heart as you are with your clothing? It is a great way to love your brothers in Christ. It is also the best way to guard your heart and the reputation of your Savior.

This is what support looks like

2009-02-21T08:51:00.001-08:00

Well, ok the backpack does provide great back support, but really this is my dad's way of saying, "I love you, Bekah. I acknowledge that you're wild and crazy, and I can't change that. And I acknowledge that you are going to another dangerous country and you will probably die of malaria, but I can't change that either, so have lots of fun!"

Thanks, dad! I love you too!

No really. This is my dad's idea of support. And truly it means the world to me. And it comes in my favorite color. Instead of writing a big fat check and paying for my trip, he went to Whole Earth Provision Company (gasp!) on his own accord and bought me this very nifty and perfect for future camping trips backpack, a water purifier, camping soap, a lovely green Nalgene (YAY!), and chocolate for Valentine's day.

As we sat on the couch checking out this nifty contraption that has 4.3 million straps and pockets, he asked me what I was going to do in Nicaragua. And I will tell you what I told him: We are going to spread the Gospel, we are going to tell them what the Lord has already done for everyone: he died for us because he loves us. And we are going to share that with the Nicaraguans. But we can't change their hearts, the Lord has to.

Just like the old adage goes, the journey is more important than the destination, so I have found in preparing to go on a short-term mission trip with my church, Living Hope Baptist Church Bryan and College Station.

For example:

1. We have to ask 12 people to pray for us.
This has been so convicting. Do I surround myself with people who are consistently allowing the Lord to be large in their lives? Would I ask me to pray for me? When its all said and done, who are my "people"? It was certainly NOT who I thought it was. But I am SO blessed beyond anything I could ever hope to deserve that He has surrounded me with SOLID, Biblical and sound people that make much of the Lord day in and day out.

If you are reading this and you would like to pray, here are some simple requests:

a. Pray for the hearts of the Nicaraguans: that the Lord would soften their hearts, open their eyes and ears, and call them by name.

b. Pray for team unity and purity. Pray that we would be less, so that he would be made much of. We cannot win people to Christ, it must be His words. But pray that we would get out of the way and let him be big. And pray that we would love each other deeply because he commands us to, and because His children are amazing!

c. Pray for me that I would wait for the Lord to speak and be faithful when he does, that I would not get sick, and that I would learn more about Him and grow closer and more intimate with the Lord, and that he would use this in the days to come.

2. How am I currently living in light of eternity? What treasures am I storing up? Is there fruit in my life? Am I sharing the Gospel and is it effective?

In this my answer is that the Lord is absolutely faithful and good, even when we are not, and he GRACIOUSLY prepares good works in advance for us to do. Also, he gives his children GOOD gifts that we don't deserve and some of these include front row seats to the evidences of His Hand in people's lives and how He, and He alone saves and changes lives.

I have more to write, but my roommates and I are going to drive around the great city of Bryan and search for housing options for next year.

Stay tuned. On the next episode of Blogging for the joy I'll tell you more about the country of Nicaragua and the Living Hope Bryan church plant. Thanks for joinging me!

Its Pandemic!

2009-02-06T12:52:00.001-08:00

... Writing the Top 25 random things about yourself, that is.

1. Disclaimer and numero uno: I have been officially diagnosed and am treated for ADHD. This will explain numbers 2-25.

2. My roommates claim that I randomly misplace things. I.e. I have put my phone in my shoe holder, peanut butter in the medicine jar, lunchbox in the freezer, etc.

3. I raised lambs for 4-H AND I was in FFA.

4. I LOVE to ride on airplanes. You can legally go over 200 mph on the ground! It's especially fun when you hit turbulence in the air!!

5. I only really like dark chocolate. Godiva dark chocolate :)

6. I <3 rap and techno music. There are no words.

7. I have been to 15 countries so far. And I'll go to Nicaragua this Spring Break.

8. I collect maps.

9. I also collect stationary and my mom has trained me to write thank you notes for everything.

10. I am 25 years old, with a job, and I share a room BY CHOICE!

11. I am from a (somewhat) small town, and I don't know if I could ever live in a big city.

12. When I get out of the shower, my hair looks like I have just been to an '80s prom. Its huge!

13. I love to go. I don't really like to stay cooped up in the house for very long. This means I'll randomly spread out my errands so that there is something to do everyday.

14. I LOVE people. And I love hanging out. Praise Jesus for living in community.

15. I have a lot of random, useless knowledge. This comes in handy for board games, and thats about it. Ask me about the Cold War, or genetics :)

16. This is getting difficult!

17. I work at an elementary school and my classroom is a former dance studio. My office doubles as a ballet folklorico costume closet. Its awesome.

18. I love to learn. Thus, I love to read. Before I was a believer, I could finish off a Harry Potter in a lot less than a day. Now, I mostly read the Word, probably at least 1.5 a day. I wish I had more time!

19. I take my lunch to work everyday in my super-cute Vera Bradley lunchbag :)

20. I love to read so much that I teach Reading for a living! How gracious is the Lord?!?

21. I have a very small (blood) family and we are not that close. My dream is to have lots of kids and a big extended family that loves the Lord and goes on crazy-fun vacations together.

22. I heart the ghetto. I'm serious. Most of the time, I really want to be sitting on a couch in Nita's living room, having my hur dun.

23. The great outdoors when its 67 degrees outside. There is no greater joy. Bike-riding, swimming, walking, playing outdoor sports with friends. Oh wow. I want to go play basketball NOW!!!

24. I'm kinda on the Zone diet forever. Its where you spread out your meals to big snacks 5-6 times per day, and eat protein with your carbs. It keeps my blood sugar on par (I'm hypoglycemic), and I'm hungry all the time, so eating often helps :)

25. When eating at a restaurant I prefer water, but I really like to squeeze TONS and I mean like 5 lemons in the water. No sugar, just lemons. The water just tastes a lot better, ya know?

Thanks for joining us for another episode.

Its not about me

2009-01-29T13:06:00.000-08:00

Thank you Jeanie for commenting!

Jeanie said she would read this blog if I updated more often, and she requested that I write about what the Lord is teaching me.

This is my favorite subject, and the point of this blog is to make the Lord famous, so how could I ignore that??

Psalm 23:3
he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Isaiah 43:1-7
1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.

6 I will say to the north, 'Give them up!'
and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth-

7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made."

AND finally Exodus 34:14
Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

Ok, so those are some intense verses. I will admit that. Notice who it does NOT talk about.
ME. The Bible is not all about me. Life is not all about me.

And Jeanie, the Lord used YOU, and His word to teach me this.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.

Free to not live for ourselves, free to not be our own saviors.

I have learned to endure in salvation and sanctification and sadly, I now like to "think" I know how to do it on my own.
I could not be more wrong.

I was Created for Him and His glory ALONE. We exist to bring him praise. We exist to honor him with our lives, our gifts, our talents and our wealth.

To those who have been given much, much more will be required.

I have been given SO MUCH. The Lord has saved me from darkness, from alcoholism, from bitterness, from being on the computer 6 hours a day, from wasting away, from diseases, from isolation, from loneliness, from a bad potential marriage in 2005/2006.
He ALONE rescued me. He called me by name and picked me up and loved me right where I was, but IN HIS MERCY, he did not leave me there.
And how dare I claim that it was me who picked me up by my bootstraps, and dusted myself off and trained myself to run this race. How dare I claim that I added anything to what he has done, and now as a believer of Christ the risen Lord, I grow complacent. I think that my works merited my salvation, and that my works will merit favor.

I am here to tell you that your works will NEVER merit favor from a Holy and Just God. Thats right I said just. If he was fair, we will ALL be in hell, we would have never been alive in any sense, and we would have nothing.
So, he is NOT just nor fair. He is gracious.
ANd there is nothing you can add to his grace. Its free, you can't earn it, you cannot lose it. And he gives us more and more grace every single day.

BUT! Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

One small snag.

Grace is sitting on the table right in front of you waiting for you to pick it up and take hold of. You are so hungry, and if grace were a box of Cocoa puffs you would pour yourself a HUGE bowl. Your hunger cannot be curbed by looking at that box, though. You have to grab hold of it and pour it out, stick your spoon in and eat it.

So, this is where I am.

God has provided every cocoa puff of grace I could ever want, and now with this knowledge, I am praying that He will enable me to live according to His grace and mercy as much as possible.

Pinky swear

2008-12-18T13:50:00.000-08:00

This is me promising you that I will again write on this blog and tell you everything you ever wanted to know about the great city of Bryan, Texas.

Get excited and keep watching!

Preview:

-Photos of some garden acre hangouts

-inclement weather reports

-church plant

-job updates

The Best Year Ever

2008-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

I was walking through Wal-Mart today buying those teeny-tiny Haagen Dazs ice creams and my mom calls me.
She said she knew I was having fun because I had not called her in several days. So true. Oh moms, they know us so well.
But we got to talking about this past year, and she commented that it was probably my best year ever.

Now, let me back up this train up a little and give you some information.

This past school year was my first year of teaching. As you will read in this blog, I was worried about teaching. I was nervous about committing my life to something I could not control for at least 10 months. I was afraid that I would not receive the support that I needed.

All of my fears came true.

I was moved to 3 different elementary schools.
I was beaten up by my student.
I did not receive a lunch or conference break for several consecutive months.
I was expected to do the humanly impossible.
I played dolphins and tigers more than I taught reading and math.
I was criticized for being abused.

But! and Please read this, BUT!

I learned so much. And this year was a TREASURE.
It is ONLY by the Lord's grace that I can even type that sentence to you.
I learned the value of committment.

I received more support from the Body of Believers (church) than I could have wanted or needed.

They provided bodyguards.
They provided respite.
They provided arts and crafts.
They provided funding.
They provided an assisstant.

And please know that it was NOT the provision of a human person or organization.
Only people who have put their full trust in the Living God can sacrifice their time and energy when it seems crazy to provide for the needs of others.
And that is exactly what happened.

And now the school year has ended.

But by God's grace I can look back and say,

I miss and love my student dearly.

I would not trade this past year for anything.
I LOVE committment, bring it!

So even though it was excruciating, I learned how to love, and be loved by a family that will last.

Thank you, Church.
I love you so much.

The wonderful duty of delight

2007-07-31T14:11:00.001-07:00

Are you familiar with the 1 Thess. 5:16-18 where it says,
"Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

So often I remember to do the praying and the giving thanks.

I'll be stuck in a situation, about to cop a bad attitude, and the Lord washes me with conviction and I will verbally say,
"gosh, I am so thankful for this."

But where is my heart?

Am I truly thankful?

Outward change is EASY.

I am SO good at going through the motions.

I can pretend ALL day.

But the Lord wants more than that!

He says, "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks."

AND.

Philippians 4: Rejoice, in the Lord. I will say it AGAIN! Rejoice!!

So what he really wants to change is our hearts.

Hmm.

What attitudes and thoughts do I have that would keep me from being really thankful for this, and that my whole life would shout:

I am SUPER-Duper thankful!

What is keeping us from that?

This is the question we should ask ourselves.

So, I am here to say, that I have the 'be thankful' down, but I don't know if I am really thankful.

I have examined my life and questioned the Lord as to what is wrong with me?!?

I know I'm saved. Check.

And you know what He said?

Rejoice.

Enjoy me.

De-light!

Love me.

Adore me.

Put all things below me.

So, I asked myself, do I really do those things?

Am I enjoying the Lord?

Do I truly love His Word?

And if I love Him I will WANT to hang out with Him in my free time.

I will want to read the Word as soon as I get a spare second.

The mention of His name will bring a smile to my face.

I used to get all giddy when someone would mention a boy that I liked.

But the Lord is worth so much more than that.

So, I challenge you today.

Are you thankful because its a command, or becuase of the AMAZING things that the Lord has done in your life.

Becuase He has done them.

He always provides

2007-07-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I was anxious.

I was worrying that the Lord who had CLEARLY called me to College Station to live and grow amongst the MOST amazing body of believers EVER, would not also provide my need of a job.

What?

Yeah.

But, it gets better.

He kept telling me, you will reap what you sow.

I was so afraid of getting a job, that I knew that I had not sown what I needed in the form of an organized application.

The second I turned that puppy in, and emailed a principal for a job opening, she called me THAT evening.

Oh yes.

Is that quick?!?

So, Tuesday, email in the middle of the night.

Wednesday- they call me for an interview.

Thursday- I interview.

Friday- they offer me the job.

How amazing is the Lord's timing?!?

He knows how ADHD I am!!

Furthermore, the Lord had a place for me all along.

I cannot stress this enough.

If you know me, I am NOT organized, I probably need like 5 million mentors, and reminders, etc.

When it comes to Special Ed, my gifts are relating to the students, NOT the paperwork.

Well, just sit tight and listen!

Because thats exactly what happens in this job.

I am sharing a classroom with a teacher who has already taught this class and we will mostly tutor students in reading and math.

So, we will "share" students.

A built-in mentor.

And since it is SO late in the teaching game, I was kinda getting worried about setting up my classroom.
This lady has already taught a year.

No worries.
Done.

Ok, last AMAZING perk.

This is THE SCHOOL that the Lord had planned for me all along.

Guess where it is!?!

In the MIDDLE of the ghetto, a mile from Saturday church.

Oh yeah.

Not my first choice, but just think of the possibilities!!

These kids probably already go to Saturday church sometimes.

I cannot even begin to imagine what the Lord will do with this.

I have ALREADY started praying for their Salvation, which brings me to tears almost every time.

I am so thankful that this whole job thing is NOT about me.

What a relief!

I was getting so caught up in myself, and what I needed that I forgot that there are much BIGGER things at stake!!

The Lord is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO stinkin' jealous for His Glory and His Fame.

How could I forget that!?!

So get pumped and stay tuned because I get to be a teacher and
I get to hang out with some amazing ghetto-fabulous kiddos.

Thankful in the storm

2007-07-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am back from Europe.. Yay!!!
More on that later... (I would love to make some posts about what the Lord taught me and how much fun I had later...)

But for now...

My name is Bekah, I have a Special Education degree from Texas A&M and I do not have a job... yet.

This may come as a shock to all of those who know what a sought after major Special Education happens to be.

It is shocking.

And even more pressing; school starts in 1 month.

One month people!!!

Why don't I have a job?

Hmmm... Very good question.

I was out of the country for prime job hunting time.
I am not organized.
I know that the Lord wants me to grow and serve in College Station one more year.
There are millions of jobs elsewhere.

Ok, ok, I am really unorganized, and I drug my feet, and I was terribly afraid of getting a job like my oh-so-not-desirable long-term sub position.

All sad excuses.

Well, now I am back, in the country, and have turned in my application for the singular job that I qualify for in Bryan ISD.

And still nothing.

So, I sit, I wait in Boerne.

This is hard.

This is especially hard being away from a body of believers.

I have SCOURED the Word for what I am supposed to be doing.

Did I mention that I have $.28 in my acount?

But, the Lord always keeps his promises.

My sweet future roommmate Amanda reminded me of Jeremiah 29:11-13 today, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."

He does have plans for me.

They are WAYYYYY better than my plans. (see Isaiah 55)

Can I use way as an adjective?

He even says my plans are ROTTEN compared to his.

Rotten.

Hmm.

Okie.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose.

And the one that I KEEP reading is, "Wait on the Lord and Keep his way."

Ok, so waiting and keeping and Scouring.

What am I waiting for?

I feel so behind. Everbody else already has a job. They got their stuff together years ago, and have a cute classroom and a job.

But as I have been so lovingly reminded by Julie Faye (her new name since there are two of them!!):
What God has for you is not always the same as the rest of the world.

Its like in Her Hands when Heather taught us that we CANNOT have this list of our lives to check off.

College. check.
Married. check.
Babies. check.

So, in the midst of all of this, the ONE thing the Lord has put on my heart is to be Thankful!!

What a surprise!

And I am so amazed and thankful for this grateful attitude.

I am thankful for this storm.

I am thankful that I get to cart around my super cute 21-year-old brother was still loves Legos and Disney songs.

Have I mentioned how cute this kid is!?!

This is a blog in itself.

He always asks me,

Bekah! Guess what happens in Episode (1-9) to so-and-so when this blows-up?

And things like,

The insert random country's Navy deployed a new insert-obscure weapon name in 1933.

Neat.

You just can't get questions and facts like that anywhere else.

And he won't always be here to hang out with and be barraged with such trivia.

I am thankful that I am stuck here in Boerne, Texas with my relatives that are so close.

I can randomly stop by.
I can play the sports they love with them.
I can go over and hug them.

I am thankful that I have parents who care about me enough to not spoil me.

I am thankful that I have this growing season, that I am out of money and that I have to look to the Lord for everything.

Thats right.

I cannot trust in my own judgment, or my own ways, because I have none left.

The Lord has SO GRACIOUSLY taken everything that I LOVE to cling to and said simply,

Look at me.

And in the world's eyes, this is NOT very important.

It is HARD to tell people that.

Thank you for telling me about this really great job opportunity in ____, Texas, but I have been called to grow more in the Lord at my church.

But fortunately, I do not live according to the world's standard.
Yes, I said fortunately.
But its not always pretty.

Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it. (Psalm 37)

I am waiting.

If I do not get "the land" i.e. the world's idea of a good job, then that is ok.

Waiting for Him is always worth it.

If I have to wait for years and years and years, and the point of the entire thing is to see Him, then

It is worth it.

Represent - Get Krunk

2007-04-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

Turn it up.

Pump up the jam!

I have been trying to wield the Word and arm myself with scripture.

For several reasons.

Sometimes its hard to focus on what pleases the Lord.

Sometimes I just get frustrated.

Sometimes I'm just downright human.

When I first came to Living Hope, one of the VERY FIRST things that caught my attention was that as we sang our songs, our awesome worship-leader, Aaron H., would cite the scriptures.

This was revolutionary to me as a lost person.

You mean, there is actually a reason, and a reference to why we sing these songs?

This blew me away.

So, the Lord invaded my head and my mouth and my heart with snippets of worship songs.

I say snippets because I just sing the parts I remember.

Majesty, worship his majesty.

Thats it.

Or~

He is the Lord the Famous one, the famous one, great is your name in all the Earth,
The heavens declare your Glorious, Glorious, great is your name in all the earth.

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Eph 5:19-20)

Lately, this has been true again.

Over the summer I went to Brandon & Bethan's wedding, and I have since kept their little booklet with the lyrics to 'In Christ Alone' and 'How great thou art.' I carried that puppy everywhere with me last semester.

You would think I would have them memorized like the back of my hand, and that people would be begging me to leave CS and try out for American Idol.

You would be mistaken.

Anyways.

All of this to say, that there is some awesome free music I have been jamming to this week.

I would love for my joy to be yours.

Check it.

http://www.hopeforthehokies.com/

Its my Joy to Worship you!

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

2007-04-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

I must confess.

I have not been thankful.
I have not delighted myself in who the Lord made me to be, and what he has done so gracefully.

But he is still good and worthy.

Lets start out.

I have so easily forgotten what precious eternal life the Lord has given me today.

Do you rest?

Do you stop and literally smell the roses in your life?

Who were you made to be?

Not so long ago, I was DEAD in my sins.
I mean that.

I was walking around in depression, and darkness.
My life was fairly hopeless.
I was stuck in Romans 7: I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (verse 15)

I had no clue why I couldn't do the things I really wanted to.
I felt like I owed everyone something.
I felt like I was trapped.
Trapped by my stuff.
Trapped in my relationships.

Enslaved.

But there is and was and will be a King who is So worthy.

He set me free.

From my stuff, from my relationships.

He set me free from my self-made fears.

And wow, were they ridiculous!!

Redonk.

I praise the Lord for pursuing my heart to give me a GIFT of eternal life.

Yes, thats right.

A gift.

THere is nothing I did or can do to earn this or be worthy of.

It is a free, irrevocable gift.

And what a sweet gift it is.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Eternal life starts TODAY.

Eternity is FOREVER.

That means that at this very second I am free to live for the Lord.

I am free to delight.

I am free to serve.

With that being said, I want to tell you a little bit about what my eternal and abundant life looks like now.

It is definitely in stark contrast to what it was only a year-and-a-half ago.

At least, I hope.

Today, at this moment, at this very second I have life.

I have been jarringly reminded this year that our lives are SO short.

Sadly, it took losing a friend, Ryan Rogers, to get this.

The Lord is SOOO Sovereign. I cannot repeat this enough.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Our days are numbered.

He can do with them what he pleases.

I have also seen this so evidently in an old friend's life as well.

Aaron, who not so recently was rolling around in the muck of sin with me.
It has been so beautiful to watch you fall in love with the Lord.

And then, because he is SO jealous for our hearts, the Lord SOVEREIGNLY and lovingly
revealed to Aaron that he has cancer (probably for 2 years) now.
How perfect is his timing in Saving Aaron, and giving him the amazing, sweet life, so that when he did find the cancer he could praise the Lord and walk around with such sweet life, here and now.

And thats right, I said life.

Life or death has nothing to do with the body.

It has everything to do with our hearts.

I love that Aaron has a weak body with cancer, but has more life than he has EVER had.

Mmmm.

Ok, so my life right now.

Here is your update.

I am living in College Station and working.

Ok thats boring.

I never plan out my days.

I wake up and spend time with the Lord at Starbucks, or go swing in the park.

Wait on the Lord, and Keep his way, and he will make your righteousness shine like the dawn.

I have just graduated from college.

I have always wanted to go to Europe.

I am going to Europe for a month in about2 weeks.

I LOVEEE to go outside. I get to take walks to the park almost every day.
And swing.

And what happens? I get to hang out with cool little kids, and appreciate the cool air, the beautiful greenery.

Rest.

Just sit still on the swings, walk through the Hydrangeas, and be silent.

That is life.

One more example.

ANd really this is my favorite.

RARELY, VERY RARELY do I have days anymore where I want to shove my foot into my mouth.

Oh, they still come.

But praise, the Lord, he is moving me on to Romans 8: The mind of sinful man[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;

But praise the Lord that he is renewing me.

I am so thankful that he is transforming into his image, so that I don't have to be stuck in those old patterns of opening my mouth and wanting to run and hurl.

That used to happen a lot.

Life starts TODAY folks.

As the Lord allows, I pray that my life will be even further testament that there is nothing to wait for.

DO not wait another second to start your life.

Do not wait until you retire.

Do not wait until it is too late.

Live your life today.

Delight yo bad self in the Lord! (turned out to be a word-study on Joy)

2007-04-17T19:16:00.001-07:00

So, I have struggled with what to name this blog.

I love reading other people's blogs and I enjoy commenting.

I want you all to know, that I sincerely CANNOT write anything on this blog to make me famous.
The Lord will absolutely not let me.
Nothing comes out.

I have been so struggling with "finding" and knowing the Lord's will for my job situation and where I should serve, and what happens when you graduate and life does not turn out like you had always planned (see not getting married, or have boyfriend).

Last semester was filled with fun and joy. I was madly in love with the Lord. I hungered for His Word, I looked forward to hopegroup ALL week. Attending church on Sunday was the ABSOLUTE highlite of the week. I would rearrange my schedule all week, adjust my sleeping time, so that I would be ready in every sense of the word for the message.

Julie Weddle (J-wed) and I had dance parties, slumber parties, and pretty much an absolute blast all-the-time.

In so many ways, it was a semester of truly tasting and savoring and living the goodness of the Lord. Wow.

And then graduation hit and it seems like its all down-hill from there.
Priority #1: Get job.

Ok, so this sounds fairly simple, right?
Well, not if your parents are still supporting you.

Yeah, I know. So I dragged my feet in finding a job.. even a sub job.
But the Lord really convicted me of honoring my parents, which meant that as a college graduate I could no longer financially depend on them AND honor them at the same time.
Ouch.

So, I now sub for a living. My parents do not support me. It has been very rough "scaling down". Life would be SO MUCH easier if I got a check every month from my parents, and be able to go shopping with all the free time and money.
I would have almost twice as much money as I am making now. Which is not very much.

So, there you have the background info.

I do now in fact have a long-term sub job, which pays about 3 cents more than a regular sub-job.
Sweet.

I work in an area where I do in fact use my major.
I don't love working.
I have gotten unbiblically frustrated with my job a lot lately.
I sometimes wonder what the Lord's will for my life is.
I wonder what ministry I am supposed to be involved in.

But Paul exhorts us MANY times that he does it for the joy.

First lets define joy. (5 references)

1.The Bible-New King James Version
Habakkuk 3:18: A Hymn of Faith

17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
19 The LORD God [a] is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

2. And according to the Word Wealth at the bottom:Joy, gil (geel) To joy, rejoice, be glad, be joyful. Gil contains the suggestion of "dancing for joy," or "leaping for joy," since the verb originally meant "to spin around with intense motion." This lays to rest the notion that the biblical concept of joy is only "a quiet, inner sense of well-being." God dances for joy over Jerusalem and because of His people (Is. 65:19; Zeph. 3:17). The righteous Messiah shall rejoice in God's salvation with an intensity that the psalmist cannot find words to describe (Ps. 21:1). In turn, His redeemed citizens are joyful in their King; they praise HIm with dances, with instruments, and with singing (Ps. 149:2,3). Although everything is wrong in Habakkuk's external worlds, he is leaping for joy over his fellowship with Yahweh.

3. Mr. Dictionary.com:
1.the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation: She felt the joy of seeing her son's success.
2. a source or cause of keen pleasure or delight; something or someone greatly valued or appreciated: Her prose style is a pure joy.
3. the expression or display of glad feeling; festive gaiety.
4. a state of happiness or felicity.

4.D.L. Moody:
"I think there is a difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is caused by things which happen around me, and circumstances will mar it, but joy flows right on through trouble; joy flows on through the dark; joy flows in the night as well as in the day; joy flows all through persecution and opposition; if flows right along, for it is an unceasing fountain bubbling up in the heart; a secret spring which the world can't see and don't know anything about; but the Lord gives His people perpetual joy when they walk in obedience to Him."

5. Thesaurus.com:

Synonyms: alleviation, amusement, animation, bliss, charm, cheer, comfort, delectation, delight, diversion, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, exultation, exulting, felicity, festivity, frolic, fruition, gaiety, gem, gladness, glee, good humor, gratification, hilarity, humor, indulgence, jewel, jubilance, liveliness, luxury, merriment, mirth, pleasure, pride, prize, rapture, ravishment, refreshment, regalement, rejoicing, revelry, satisfaction, solace, sport, transport, treasure, treat, wonder

Since this has popped up so much in the Word, it is of no coincidence that the Lord exhorts me to do it as well.

Rejoice always! I will say it AGAIN, rejoice. (Phili. 4:4)

2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:2)

You mean he suffered for our joy?

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. (Phili 2:1-2)

If there is even a hint of good things and promises, then He is telling me that he will rejoice with me!

Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess 16-18)

So, you mean, its not God's will for me to be frustrated and hate what I am doing right now?

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the Desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

His purpose for me today is to take delight in him and what he is doing?

So, if any of you were wondering, Joy is a commandment, not a duty.

So, I challenge you all ( if you have read this far) to:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will be the Desire of your heart!

I stinkin love this song: In Christ Alone p.s. its true!

2007-04-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

I would like to make some shout-outs.

1. Jesus - Holla.

2. Brandon and Bethan - for introducing me to this song (thanks for the free booklet) and showing me what this actually looks like.

3. The Texas Panhandle - I took this picture near Amarillo.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

More than Conquerers!

2007-04-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

Uber conquistadores.
Over-and-above championship.
Super-winners.
Victorious and then some.

My sweet Savior is all of these things and more. He has so graciously and lovingly taught me about his over-abounding Grace and Kingship.

He has taught me about his love.
He has taught me.

My sweet Savior has shown me what love is. To show someone something you don't just say the word, "Yay!" You show them how excited and "yay" you are by how you show them and how you say it. It means nothing if we fail to say it with enthusiasm. "Yay" would be just another random, perhaps mispelled Olde-English vocabulary word.

The Lord didn't just prophesy that He would send His Son.
Nope.
He didn't leave it at the miracles and the amazing ministry here on Earth.
Uh-uh.
He send His Song, His ONLY Son, to Die.
On a Cross.
He sufferred a lot.
He bled and died.
Ouch.

The Lord really loves.
He doesn't just tell us he loves us.
He shows us.
What a powerful example of of love.
I can't think of anything that can compare.

And then, as if that isn't enough, he so faithfully pursues us.
He knows our hearts, he knows our dreams, wants and needs.
Afterall he did create them.

Romans 8:31-39
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

random.. because thats how I roll

2007-04-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

This is me working with what the Lord brings,

and working with what http://juliecaroline.blogspot.com Hulie was saying.

So.

Basically, I try to write good posts, and nothing comes out.

I think, and think and think some more.

Rarely does something good come of it.

And then, I read Julie's post about writing what the Lord brings up.

What a great point.

I can't conjure how to praise God.

He taught me that a while ago.

His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

It is beyond me to imagine how I can plan, and schedule and make anything that comes out of my flesh that would please the Lord.

Hmm.

He definitely takes my hangups and uses them for his glory, don't get me wrong.

But I can't sit here and think of my favorite thing, and say, hey, I should use the two-birds-with-one-stone principal and maybe I can twist it so that it will look like God thought it up in the first place.

I feel like that makes no sense.

But also, I pray that the Lord would blind me to myself. That I would become less, that he might be more.

Thats why there are glasses up there.

I can't see anything of any value without Him and His word.

Its true.

El Fin.

Letter from Aaron

2007-03-29T13:32:00.001-07:00

Bekah-

Ahahahahahahaha I have never been so happy in my whole life...I would rather pop this off in person but I think you're working right now.

Anyway, God is rocking my face left and right. I've witnessed to every prof I have had the opportunity to confront except one...and I plan to remedy that soon. Yesterday I opened my mouth five times (twice to random people) and God just filled me. Each time I tell this story it changes based on who needs to hear it. God fired off a sermon (through me) in our BSM small groups when they asked for "prayer requests". Andrew said the whole BSM needed to hear it, and that's when I threw up my hands and said "GG God you win" ....I'm afraid a bit, but seriously He's gonna bless it.

There is something God taught me that I want you to know: God doesn't have to prompt you to witness, but if you do it with the right heart He will bless it every single time. (I felt no urge to fire off a hi-i-have-cancer-and-I-am-so-grateful-for-it witness bomb, but He came in and used it nonetheless)

The doctor told me I'm losing part of my hand for sure, and maybe all of it. She also said there is a very good chance it will spread and kill me in the next five years. And there is "no conclusive evidence that chemo will extend the life of a patient with synovial sarcoma".

(my spellchecker is saying the closest match for "synovial" is "jovial"...Praise God for silly humor like that)

While that looks bleak, I'm here in my wilderness and I'm saying right now that God is not through with me. Trial by fire. Just wait and see what God's gonna forge.

I cannot die with so much life in me.

It's the strangest thing, interaction with people is my greatest weakness and God keeps insisting that it is my greatest strength...

I am blessed far more than I deserve. I mean that. I worship the God that obliterated Sodom and Gomorrah...men, women, children, and puppies alike. Every breath I take is a gift. I pray you can learn that without much pain, but if not, I still pray you will learn that deep down. (You may already have, since you've been chasing after Him the entire time I've been having a pity party)

Also, I am not playing smash bros with David and Ricky anymore...they're gonna think I'm crazy...pray for that. (I can't let God's Love out if I am competing against them)

Love you sister,

-Aaron

These are the kind of missions that make my heart cry:

2007-03-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome article by Noel Piper where she was able to help deliver wheelchairs to those in need.

Grab a box of tissues.

Anyone interested in doing this?

Are you looking for God's will for you life!?! Look no further... you could be the next contestant

2007-03-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess 5:16-18)

Ok so that's it?

Yup.

Treasure this time. Where you are right at this very moment.

It is merely a season, and soon you will be in a new season of life.

Whatever it might be.
Single.
Tired of school.
In between jobs.
Waiting for something to happen.
Broke.
Without a car.
Feeling embarassed.

Because:
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

AND!

Because maybe you didn't get it the first time:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil 4:4-7)

Whew.

Praise the Lord.

Be Thankful for what the Lord gave you today.

I am so thankful that the Lord does not give me everything that I ask for.

Because His ways are ssooooooooooo much better.

The end.

The $10 Challenge: Day Uno

2007-02-21T11:57:00.000-08:00

I have not been managing my money well.

Fortunately for me I have an AMAZING friend in Julie Weddle to help me overcome this poor stewardship.
She presented me/us with a challenge.

The Rules:
1. Each person can spend only $10 on food for 2 weeks
2. No borrowing from roommmates.
3. Trading is allowed.
4. Restaurant food counts, so be careful!
5. Bathroom items, gum, and gas do NOT count.

The Catch:

For every $ 0.25 each person goes over the original $10, the other person gets to make a "concoction out of 1/4 cup of whatever and has to eat it!!!

You know what this means.
Ketchup and mayonaise.
Pickles.
Mustard, milk and cheese.
Salad Dressing.
Jelly and orange juice.
Bar-b-que Sauce. (Sung in Chili's fashion)

This is a test of both money management and creative cooking and planning.

Get Excited!

Fortunately for me, when I arrived home I had half a chicken in my freezer, and a big thing of cheese.

I have this one in the bag!

So I have two question for you:

If you had chicken, flour and the normal spices in your posession, what 1 very cheap thing would you buy at the store to jazz it up?

Between Wal-mart, H-E-B, Apple Tree, Kroger and Albertson's, who do you think has the cheapest overall food?

How Great is Our God!?!?

2006-08-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

My God is pretty sweet.

Let me tell you.

I was worried about what to do with my life.
I have been praying for God to do His Perfect and Pleasing Will in my life.

He has tested me and broken me.

I asked him to blind me, so that I could walk by faith, not by sight.

I have learned how much Grace He can show me:

This is my final semester at the college of Agriculture and Mechanics in College Station, TX.

According to my major, I need to complete a semester of Student Teaching.

I have been stressing over this for a while now.
Super nervous.

I do not like school.
I am bad at math, maybe 'not gifted' sounds a little better.
I am 'not gifted' at homework or studying either.

Student teaching has none of these things.
It is pretty sweet.

I don't know why I was so stressed.

I am working at Bryan High School in the Life Skills Classroom.
I have 8 17-year-old-ish boys, and 2 18-ish girls.

Praise the Good Lord that they are not like regular high-schoolers.

They are better.
My kids are funny.
My kids can't count.
My kids love Wal-mart.
My kids love Uno.
My kids beat me at Uno everytime.
Stink.

So, this is how my day goes:

1 period-
Breakfast
Sonia talks loudly enough for the entire cafeteria to hear us, we read the newspaper.

2 period-
We talk about the day of the week and read sentences about hamburgers.
We go make copies of a crossword puzzle and then class is over.

Frank is so cute.

Me: What do you like to do?
Frank: Go shopping at Wal-mart.
Frank: We have two Wal-marts. One in Bryan, and one is College Station.
Me: Sweet, thats a lot of shopping.

-----------Later that day------

Me: I am from Boerne, TX near San Antonio.
Frank: Do you have a Wal-mart?

3rd period-
Kids go to PE, I have this off.

4th period-We eat lunch in the cafeteria.
Sonia wants to buy a Soda.

Me: What kind of Soda would you like?
Sonia: Sprite
Me: How much do you think a Sprite costs?
Sonia: $10
Me: I think it costs less. Do you think a Soda is $1 or $100??
Sonia: $100
Me: hmm. A soda is $1.

5th period-
come back to classroom. We play Money board games and Uno. Life is good.

6th period-
Kids go to career training class, I hvae this period off!!

7th-
Students come back to class. We get to dance party on Fridays!!
I take some students to the bus and leave

So my teacher is going to retire and wants me to replace her next school year.

How great is our God?!?!!

What do we really need? A myth revealed

2006-08-12T09:16:00.001-07:00

Going into this upcoming school semester of student teaching, I thought to myself that I would plan and organize and map-out my life.

I would put all of my ducks in one row:
One duck, two duck, red duck, blue duck.

Perfection.

It was all ready; I would make lists, I would organize my time efficiently and effectively and life would be perfect.

Huge surprise: I was wrong!!

I just moved into a new house. I was thinking that my perfection would begin here.
The Lord showed me two important Truths:

Be a good steward of ALL He gives.

Our citizenship is in heaven.

What do we really need???

I will tell you a few things that I actually do NOT need (although I thought I did)

You do not need walls that bar you from everything outdoors…
The Lord gives and he takes away, and he can take away the bugs, I don’t know how, but His grace IS enough to keep the bugs out!!

You do not need counter space or a working kitchen!!
The Lord provides people and opportunities so that we can fellowship and eat with others.

You do not need a cookie-cutter, pink-with-white-trim, urban home.
The Lord provides shelter, rest and fellowship even when you live way out in the boonies, with holes in your walls, a kitchen with no floor, and other people’s stuff scattered everywhere.

My heart’s desire is not a kitchen with a floor, a new-oven, or even pristine shelter.
The Lord implanted in me the desire to fellowship, have slumber parties, serve others, and have dance parties.

Oh yes, I said dance parties!! Holla.

And he so graciously provides the things I DO in fact need!

My roommate had 5 of her Impact Camp girls over for a slumber-party the first 3 nights of our life here.

I was able to make food for these girls in our kitchen!!

I am still able to wake up on time to go babysit.

I got to go to a Pakistani Henna Bridal Shower and Dance Party it up with a bunch of other ladies!!

The Lord provides.
He always gives us what we need.

I’m so glad he reminded me that I do not need things, but only His Grace.

Shout-outs

2006-07-28T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have searched and searched.
I still have no idea how to tell you whose blogs I read on a daily/more frequent than daily basis.

Holla.

Blogs I read in no particular order:

-Brandon "hopegroup leader/ big brother/ funniest guy ever" Rogers
Bethan "you are married now!! ahhh/ "safety." /"way to go Bible"/*Rekerdres* cough, i mean..." Rogers

Sally "cutest pregnant lady ever/ sweet sister/ best Mary Kay lady" Estes

Kirby "super cute/former softball teammate/you'll always be a Seewald to me" Apel
Charlie "i met you in Jason's Deli" Apel

Heather and Aaron " your blog makes me almost pee in my pants/ you are super cool worship leaders" Hendrick

Shannon "you rock/thanks for giving me the homework I missed/ your truck is tight" Eichmann

Vanessa "thanks for the hugs/it was cool hanging out with you/i'm sad that you live in Nashville" Brooks

You guys rock.

Also, I would like to show you what links I read and are important to me.
Close your eyes and pretend this is a "Bekah's favorite links box."

www.boundless.org
awesome website about Biblical courtship, being single, etc...
I have read almost all of their articles in the past week

www.lhbc.net
My church
I can't say enough about the Lord bringing me here, I am no longer lost. Check it.

P.S. Any insights into how I can attach links to the side bar??

the beginning of something good

2006-07-26T20:10:00.000-07:00

I am not good at this blogger thing.

I like to read other people's blogs while remaining relatively anonymous.

Your blogs are quite entertaining. I have learned a lot. I have also laughed a lot! (see the hendricks)

Alas, the Lord has taught me some out-of-this-world amazing lessons through prayer and has also called me to share them in blog form.

No more hiding in corners anonymously. Bah.

I'll start with two scriptures that I'll focus on and hopefully update and enligthen you soon.

The first,

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

comes from the Psalms 37:4. And I know, we hear this one all the time, but wow!! this one alone has taught me at least 5 million lessons in different forms, if not more.

And second,

Phillipians 3:20

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ

Let Him love you.

2006-05-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

Amazing Lord:

I believe in an unhidden God
out in the open for everyone to see

I believe in the rough, exposed, bristly Truth
of a Savior who literally bore it all
when he wore human skin and emotional flesh

There is a Sovereign, Powerful, Mightily Awesome
...God.

He loves you more than words can say,
. . . perhaps a sacrifice will do.
................. gets the point across a little more clearly

Forgiving, Merciful,

... Graceful.

Did I mention Unchanging?

.... Ancient of Days?

He longs to hear your voice, he longs to

... set. you. free.

But He, and only He can do that.
I can't. You can't. Your boyfriend simply cannot.
..Go look for love in all the wrong places, and you will be further from it than you know.

My God longs to know you, and longs to love you.

Let Him love you.

Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
-Matthew 22:37

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Unplowed Ground by Ross King

2006-04-03T21:53:00.000-07:00

It’s drier here than ever I remember
The fields that once were green and tall are now so bare
And patience for relief has turned to anger
And joyous praise has been replaced by faithless prayer
I used to love to tend these fields for hours
And even times of drought would serve to spur me on
But now it seems like years without a shower
And somehow my desire to grow has come and gone

This was the word to Jeremiah
But I think it applies to me right about now

“Break up your unplowed ground
turn your heart to Me again
Lay all your idols down
Come confess your sin
I long to ease your pain
And bring your fields to life once more
But I will not send my rain
Until you make me Lord”

A vineyard ripe with blessing now surrounds me
and every harvest so much more then I hoped for
But as the fruit increases all around me
I see how fat I am and I’m still wanting more

This was the word God gave Hosea
But I think it applies to me right about now

“Break up your unplowed ground
have you so soon forgotten Me?
I cannot watch you bow
At the alter of prosperity
I long to shower down
And see our love affair restored
So break up your unplowed ground
It’s time to seek the Lord”

Habits turn to cycles turn to seasons
And seasons turn to years before we know
And we lay still alive but barely breathing
And we whisper “that’s just the way it goes…”
But the Lord says “No,

Break up your unplowed ground
And you will find a treasure
Sell everything you own
To buy what can’t be measured
I long to lay you down
In richer fields than you have known
So break up your unplowed ground
And make this land your home”

James 5:1-6

Warning to Rich Oppressors
1Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. 2Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. 3Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. 4Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. 5You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.[a] 6You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

Matthew 13:3-9

Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9He who has ears, let him hear."